there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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