words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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