Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
