can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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