I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
