my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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