One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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