What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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