Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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