Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize