i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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