ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
