Where is the hickey?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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