honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
