The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
