i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
