why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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