i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
