They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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