ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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