are you so shy because you have an std?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
