Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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