Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
