i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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