If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
