i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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