Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
