There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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