i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
