Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
