On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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