What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
