we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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