So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
