at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
