i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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