so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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