I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
