so let's talk penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
