Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
