I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
