how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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