o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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