just come out here and I will go home with you...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
