so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
