He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
