My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
