There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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