sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
