i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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