Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
