"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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