If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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