the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
