Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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