So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
