It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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