im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my liver is dry heaving
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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