Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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