I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
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