Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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