The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize