is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I AM VODKA MAN
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
