Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
