I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
