Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
