This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
