she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
