The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
