Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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