Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
