I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
