so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
try to milk me bitch
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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