My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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