you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
