We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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