I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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