just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there was a trapeze. enough said
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
